The Painful Truth

So i edited the name of my blog. When i set this thing up, i called it "the champion of truth" because that was a little joke going around at the summit offices. One of my main responsibilities at summit is to set the direction of our teaching. I consider it a great privilege to be involved in the teaching of God's Word whether i am up front communicating or sitting in the crowd listening. It is awesome.

One day, someone was explaining my role and they said I was the champion of truth. I immediately ate that up because anyone who knows me on a personal level knows that truth telling is not a strength of mine. Some might call it lying but i think that's a little harsh, don't you?

So anyways, the name kind of stuck because everyone seemed to find humor in it. A few weeks after the name came about, Vicky and I went out for dinner. We were having a great night and it seemed like everything was moving in the right direction (if you know what I mean) when a discussion arose about the moniker. Vicky mentioned that she thought it was ironic how that tag was applied to me because it was so clear that it didn't fit me. Now, that kind of surprised me so I pursued the meaning behind her statement.

Before I write anything else, let me state here that this was very unusual and everything Vicky said to me that night was said out of love and in her mind we were just having fun (but all I heard was the truth God was speaking into my life through her).

She went on to tell me that I was the champion of truth but only when it applied to the lives of other people. In other words, when it comes to my own life, there are different standards in the areas of truth and truth-telling. I'll spare you the rest of the conversation but you can imagine how it went. I defended myself, Vicky smiled politely, and I continued to defend myself.

Needless to say, the days that followed our conversation were filled with some serious soul searching. It's not everyday that the person you love more than anything in this world speaks such pointed truth into your life that you want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You see, for some reason I had fooled myself into thinking that it was ok for me to bend the truth. At the same time, I had convinced myself that it was ok for me to speak truth to others without addressing the 10,000 ft plank in my own eye. Something had to change.

In fact, for the past few months I've been trying really hard to be a different person. If you and I have had a conversation in the past two months there is a good chance I didn't lie in the course of our discussion. I know that sounds funny, but to me it's huge.

Vicky and I were watching Dr. Phil this afternoon. Don't ask me why. We just were. The show was about this woman who was convinced that her husband was lying to her about his extra-marital sexual activity. A large part of the show centered around the fact that this guy was unable to tell the truth. He had fooled himself into thinking that he was actually fooling everyone else. All I could see as I watched this guy was my own stupidity (not my extra-marital sexual activity - because there is none, I swear!!!!! - but my lying). The comparison ended, however, when they showed the previews for tomorrow's show and it turns out that not only is this guy a liar but he also might be a serial killer. You can't make this stuff up.

So here is what I'm trying to say. I love that people joke around and call me the champion of truth because everytime they do, I am reminded of the kind of person I want to be. I am so thankful for a God who continues to show me grace and a wife who is more like Him than I will ever be. I am trying to be more like the both of them everyday.

Here's to the truth.